Fanfiction: A Suethor's Story
by musicqueens
Summary: Mary Sues aren't very cool. Especially not when Harry, Draco, Ron and every other male character fall in love with her. So now we need your help to teach the culpritsuethor, Annabelle, a little bit on how to write a decent story.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey guys! Jess and Jelly here! Well, we hope you like this story.

_Jelly in italics, here. We wrote this story because a) we figured it'd be fun to mock a sue, and b) we figured that suethors need something doesn't mock them to teach them how to write something decent._

Disclaimer: We own nothing except for: Annabelle, Bella-Anne, Hannah, Madame Hookerella coughstrippernamecough and the plot.

_Enjoy!_

---

Annabelle clicked her pen as the teacher droned on about what they were supposed to be learning. She sighed as she stared unblinkingly out the window, watching a small blue bird twittering around the trees surrounding the oak tree lawn.

"Annabelle!"

Annabelle jumped, "Yes miss?"

Her teacher, Madame Hookerella, slapped a wooden ruler on her desk and glared at her. "Were you listening?" She demanded.

"Ummm…"

"I said, 'you are to write a story about any book you want. Not a report, a story.'"

Annabelle blinked. "Sorry?"

"A story, Annabelle, a story," snapped Hookerella. "About any book you want."

Annabelle thought for a moment, and then, suddenly-"Can I write one on Harry Potter?"

Hookerella fumed and Annabelle could do nothing but flinch.

"I just said _any book_, you little—" Hookerella wrung her hands in frustration and took a breath to relax herself. "—little girl." She said through gritted teeth.

By the time Hookerella was finished glaring at her, Annabelle was on the verge of tears.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She sniffed.

"Ok, what did I just tell you to do?" Hookerella asked.

"You-you told me to write a story about any book I want, including Harry Potter."

Hookerella nodded stiffly. "Get to work then."

Annabelle got to work without another word, only to feel something hit the back of her head. She turned around to glare at whoever threw the object, instead she caught sight of a screwed up piece of paper. She picked it up and opened it out of curiosity. It said:

"You should post your story on xoxo"

Annabelle turned to face Hannah and grinned at her.

--

Annabelle sat in front of her computer and stared at her written work.

'_It would take too long to write it out properly'_ she thought _'netspeak then. It's the internet, everyone knows netspeak!'_

She grinned to herself and began to type:

_Hi!_

_Dis is ma 1st fic so go ez on me k?_

_Njoy!_

_1 dae, a beautiful gurl wif long flowin brown hair wif red tips & green eyes wif hazel flex named Bella-Anne Martha Alice Roxy Yvette Susanna Ursula Edwards, found a letta in da lettabox sayin dat she had been selected 2 go 2 Hogwarts. So she went 2 Hogwarts da nxt dae & got lost on da way._

_Along came Harry & da moment he saw her, he knew he was hed ova heels in luv wif her._

"_Uuuhhh…hi, r u lost?"_

"_Yea I am…do u no hw 2 get 2 Platform 9¾?"_

"_Omg ur a witch?"_

"_Yea I am"_

"_Awesum, follow me"_

"_Thanx"_

_Harry blushd & led da way._

--

Annabelle skipped to school beaming because of her work. She couldn't wait to get home that day—reviews would definitely be waiting for her; she thought that she'd written so well!

She met up with Hannah outside the classroom.

"Oh my gosh! I love writing stories! Have a read through my first chapter; I'm pretty proud of myself." She beamed.

Hannah read through the first chapter and instantly regretted telling Annabelle to post her story on waited and then frowned when Hannah said nothing. "Well?" She prompted. "What do you think?"

Hannah gulped. If she told her the truth (_it sucks Annabelle_), then the poor girl would burst into tears, being the cry-baby that she was. If she told her what she wanted to hear, then her story would be torn apart on the internet and she'd burst into tears. Either way, it was a lose-lose situation.

"Ummm…" She could hear Annabelle tapping her foot impatiently. "It was…great, Annabelle! Excellent! It'll get loads of reviews…"

Annabelle beamed. "Thanks! I think it's awesome too!"

Hannah grimaced. _'How conceited'_ she thought. _'I don't know how I became her friend. She'll be devastated.'_

"C'mon" said Hannah out loud finally. "Let's go to class—you can show everyone else."

Annabelle nodded vigorously and followed her friend to class.

---

Dear lord (excuse the blasphemy), it was horrible having to type like that on word, msn is ok, but Word is not. _I agree, Jess, I totally agree._

Ok, we need your help to write the second chapter, we need you to:

FLAME ANNABELLE!

_Ahem… what Jess means is that we'd like you as the audience to flame our little suethor here. Flame her, concrit her, whatever, but we need your reviews._

PM us as if you're flaming Annabelle and we will use your flame as part of our second chapter.

_So R'n'R, guys! Hope you liked! We guarantee that our little suethor's chapters will get better and longer as the story progesses - but remember, we need reviews._

_Later!  
_  
Jess and Jelly


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey Guys!**

**Just Jelly here today (Jess, I beg you forgive me for doing this without you). Jess has gone to Indonesia and so I typed this up adding a little more to it for us. Sorry for the wait. **

**Enjoy!**

**---------------------------**

**And then Came the Flames**

Annabelle wrenched open the front door and yelled, "Mummy! I'm Home!" in a cheerful sing-song voice.

Her mum replied, "Afternoon tea is in the microwave dear!"

Annabelle didn't seem to be listening as she bounded to the computer.

"Yay! Reviews!" she squealed.

She switched on the computer and jumped excitedly in her chair,. She logged on hyperactively (she'd had chocolate on the way home) and grinned when her e-mail alert went off – she had messages!

Annabelle bounced up and down in her seat as she clicked on the alert, and catching sight of the e-mails that had accumulated in her inbox over the period of twenty-four hours, she squealed again. All of them were titled 'FF Review Alert'.

She clicked on the first excitedly. It was from an anonymous reviewer – 'Ricky from Westlake'.

"_hi Annabelle its ricky from Westlake nd I lyk ur stry its gr8 nd I was wndrin if u wntd2gocamoviewitmeorsumtin._

_K bye"_

Annabelle blinked.

"Oh my God! Ricky likes me! I _have _to tell Hannah!"

She was such in a good mood now; thinking that the other 'reviews' would be good too. She scrolled down happily and clicked on the arrow to go to the next e-mail.

Her face fell.

_To: Annabellerox_

_From: Leeson_

_Dear Lord in Heaven. You have got to be the most disgusting, incompetent writer on the face of the planet. Here's a tip, use proper fricking English! Just because you're on the internet doesn't mean you have to disgrace the real writers. Every painful word--or bastardization of a word, I should say--made me cringe in pity. I seriously cannot fathom why you would ever think this was suitable for public consumption. Grow a brain, or crawl in a hole and rot. I'd be splendously happy with either._

She gasped. How could somebody say something so _mean_? She _had _to reply:

_OMG, HW CUD U B SO MEEN!1!ONE1! DIS IS LYK MA FRST FIC! UR HORRBLE!1!_

The next review didn't make her feel any better at all – it made her feel _much _worse in fact, _much, much _worse.

_To: Annabellerox_

_From: Hermione Vader_

_Good God! This story is horrendous! The plot is inconceivably predictable and the grammar is excruciatingly abominable! This tale should never have been written! This piece shows that the intelligence of the human race is sinking to an unprecedented low._

Annabelle frowned. She could feel tears stinging the back of her eyes now – she didn't even know what 'unprecedented' meant! These people were… were...

She couldn't describe them.

She clicked on the other ones to see if there were _any _good reviews at all. These are what she found:

_To: Annabellerox  
From: KillerDustBunny_

_The hell? Dear Lord girl, your story made my eyes bleed. I had to use a frikkin' decoder to try and figure out what your story was saying. You made me die on the inside. Please for the love of God, the english language and all of fanfiction writers out there, get a dictionary, they are your FRIEND. My IQ dropped a few points thanks to you._

_To: Annabellerox  
From: Padfoot Reincarnated_

_IMHO, not only should you never write fic again, you should never be allowed within ten feet of a computer. Or a pen. Or written material of any kind. Yes, it was that bad. I can't believe I wasted a minute of my life with that. But since I did, here's some advice, to save others the torture. Rule number one: No netspeak! Yes, people DO care about spelling and grammar. Believe it or not. Make your OFC at least slightly more believable, if you can. And do you really think Harry would behave like that in the books? Give us some description, some thoughts, some feelings. Give us a plot, dammit!_

_To: Annabellerox_

_From: Cosmic Chaos_

_How could you post this ridiculous piece of trash which you claim is a fanfic? You are a heartless bastard - my eyes are bleeding in anguish. Have you ever heard of spellcheck? Or a dictionary? Or originality? Or keeping canon characters just that? Or sane character names? Evidently, you haven't. My advice to you is: Kill this 'story' and leave it to rot in the deepest abyss of hell. Then jump in after it. You are that bad._

Criticism, criticism, criticism, that's all she got! Annabelle couldn't stand it! All of these people… they were just jealous, that's all. It was the only explanation – Ricky liked it after all! They were all jealous…

She replied to them all like this:

"_LEAVE ME ALONE U FREAKS! Unkind ppl lyk u rnt welcum on my fandom!!!!!! Ur juz jeluz cuz im coola den u! I hang out wif sarah nd ashley nd eliza nd lizzy nd lydia – ther da kool ppl in skul n dim lyk da smartest person in skul!!!!!1 SHAME!!!!!!"_

She felt the tiniest bubble of satisfaction arise when she clicked the send button, and with that, she pushed the exit button before making her way to her room.

She didn't bother heading to the kitchen to get afternoon tea – she was too annoyed at the people on the internet.

Slamming the door to her room, she flopped down onto her bed and buried her face into her pillow.

What right did those people have to tell her that she couldn't write? To tell her to get off the internet and kill her own story? To tell her to use the dictionary, for crying out loud! She didn't need a dictionary! She thought of herself as smarter than that!

Annabelle sniffed. She was above them. She didn't need a dictionary, or a spell check, or a thesaurus (not that she knew what a thesaurus was anyway). Her character didn't suck and stink of unoriginality; Bella Anne was one of the greatest characters ever created!

All the guys would fall in love with her, she was smarter than Hermione Granger, she was beautiful, and if Annabelle could describe her, then she would say that she looked just like her!

Bella Anne was perfect. Annabelle was great at writing.

Those mean people were just pathetic.

She wiped her eyes on her pillow and then looked up and reached for the phone to tell Hannah. Dialling the number quickly, she pressed the receiver to her ear and waited for someone to pick up.

"_Hello, Hannah speaking."_

"Hannah?" sniffed Annabelle.

"_Annabelle!"_ said Hannah's voice from the phone. _"You sound like you've been crying! What's wrong?"_

"Hannah, the people on FFn are the meanest people on Earth!" whined Annabelle. "They told me my story sucked, and that Bella Anne was unoriginal, and that I should go kill my own story and myself! They're horrible!"

"_Annabelle… do you want to rant about it?"_

As if Annabelle was listening, She continued: "They're jealous of me, aren't they? I really do rock, but they're telling me to Eff off because they're so jealous. They said I should make friend with the dictionary! Why would I wanna make friends with a dictionary? See? They're idiots! I wish they'd leave me alone!"

"_Annabelle –"_

"I think that they're the ones that should go and make friends with a dictionary if that's even possible. They told me everything I wrote was trash…"

Annabelle ranted on for almost an hour, and every five minutes Hannah tried to cut in to tell her why these people were flaming her, but Annabelle simply continued to talk! She wouldn't stop!

Hannah had had enough. _"ANNABELLE!"_

"… and so I told them all that I hanged out with the cool people in school. Were you saying something?"

Annabelle heard Hannah sigh. _"Annabelle. They didn't flame because they're jealous of you. They know better than you – listen to them!"_

"You agree with them?" shrieked Annabelle. "You're horrible too! I thought you were my friend!"

"_No – that's not –"_

Annabelle didn't care what her friend had to say anymore. She hung up. She'd had it with criticism.

-------------------------

**Thanks for your flames guys, and it pained me so much to call you horrible and such, but this is what goes on in a Suethor's mind remember. You may have to wait 'til January when Jess gets back, so in case you guys don't get an update 'til then – Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.**

**R'n'R**

**Jelly (and Jess, but she's not here)**


End file.
